Irrational Anger
Photo by Pawel Janiak
It’s ok to be angry.
It’s even ok to be angry about stupid things.
I’ve been working on my art this week, and I asked Ben to help me reconnect the scanner. He downloaded a new program and I got to work. Then I closed the program mid-project. And I couldn’t find it again.
I got angry.
It wasn’t urgent, I could ask Ben for help again when he got home from work, but I cared so much about meeting my own expectations that I got angry. It wasn’t really about the scanner.
I wanted to hurt myself; I wanted to break the scanner; I wanted to complain to my husband.
Irrational Anger.
I took a walk. It was good to get out of the house. It was almost drizzling and the weather helped me get teary-eyed. A neighbor even asked if I was ok and gave me a hug.
Be angry and do not sin
There are some people who make me angry:
Legalists who foist their extra-biblical convictions on others,
Lawless ones who diminish God’s grace by spitting on His holiness,
Narcissists who are too self absorbed to leave their comfort zone for others,
And single soap box ranters who make one issue their entire personality.
Just seeing their faces can make me irrationally angry. Part of me wants to take the time to logically understand their actions and beliefs so I can dialogue thoughtfully and refute them, however I know that in most cases I do not have the self control to investigate such things responsibly. I would lose myself, becoming obsessive in my fury.
I would become a “single soap box ranter,” and my anger would be my only talking point.
A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.
A city with no walls is prey to whatever force would saunter into it, be it anger, jealousy, or bitterness.
I used to live like that.
I used to be so over-powered by my emotions that I couldn’t think clearly. I couldn’t consider what was in my or others’ best interest. I couldn’t love people.
Self control is the friend of love.
When anger over injustice overwhelms me, when fury over the teachings of legalism that enslave simple ones blinds me with rage, when sorrow over evil-doers who hate God and abuse the vulnerable churns my soul with anguish, I must remember that God hears my groans.
And the Lord said to him, “Pass through the city, through Jerusalem, and put a mark on the foreheads of the men who sigh and groan over all the abominations that are committed in it.”
Remembering that God sees all that I see and more comforts me.
Remembering that God’s feelings about all the sin and hurt are both deeper and purer than mine comforts me.
Remembering that He sees it from the perspective of His eternal redemption comforts me.
I’m not alone in my anger.
Even if my fury is so deep and lonesome that no one can fully understand, He knows every detail. And not only does He know every detail, His plan of redemption will one day cause me to be so overwhelmed by His goodness that I no longer remember the injustice that was done to me.
In fact, the memory of the discomfort will be so faint that it will be negligible in comparison to the joy of seeing how God redeemed it.
We forgive in faith.
We forgive in faith that our hurt will be redeemed.
We forgive in faith because we know that we ourselves are capable of equal wickedness.
We forgive in faith because we recognize the privilege of sharing in the sufferings of Christ.
So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.
Did this post resonate with you? If so, I encourage you to connect with digital mentor. Simply fill out the web form below with your information and whatever you’re struggling with and someone will reply to you soon.
Want to more? Enter your email below to subscribe:
I promise to treat your inbox like my own.