“If you want to do something big with your life, ask your mom for ballet lessons.”
I was seven or eight when the Holy Spirit whispered those words into my heart. Ballet started a couple years later. By sixteen, my parents realized that my passion for dance was a serious pursuit so I left home for two years of training at Central Pennsylvania Youth Ballet, then another two years at Ballet Academy of Pittsburgh. I filmed “Blue Dress” while in Pittsburgh, after which I moved to Fort Lauderdale, Florida to attend The Art of Classical Ballet School. I was now twenty one and seeking employment with professional dance companies.
I was made to create stories.
Closed doors led me back to God. Hadn’t He called me to dance? Where was I to go? In that moment of questioning, He turned a word picture into a story. I filmed “Be Free” that spring and found full-time employment in retail. “Shine” was the hardest of all, spanning years of filming and production, but I learned more from that project than any other.
If I can’t dance, I will write.
Retail employment became office employment and my muscles tightened from long hours sitting. Burdened with heavy emotions one evening, I poured my heart out in short fiction and Stories of Alberian was born. I pushed myself to publish monthly for the next two years until private collaborations demanded all my creativity.
If I cannot create, I will breathe.
Spring of 2016 began a season of change. I fell in love with my husband. It was also at this time that years of non-stop work took their toll. My romantic enthusiasm came with hot flashes and heart palpitations. On heavy days, thoughts of depression and suicide overwhelmed me. I had struggled with these off and on for years but burnout had depleted my body.
If I can breathe, maybe I can paint.
Christmas of 2016, I asked for watercolors. With neither the energy to dance or even write, I thought maybe a calm art would help revive me. It became my happy place. In April 2017, I quit my job and moved in with my future in laws. Four months later in August, I married my beloved husband. Now self-employed, I finally have the margin to create again.
This is what happens next.